Motherhood and nagging

There has been a whole load of nagging going on since we first decided to have a baby but I’m not the one doing it, I’m on the receiving end of constant nagging.

All day, every day since I became aware of being pregnant I’ve had constant nagging feelings. Have I done this? Have I done that? Should I do this? Etc etc.

The level of worry and concern has grown bigger since baby no.1’s birth and doubled further when baby number 2 was born.

I always want to do the right thing and do my best but when it comes to my children I’m even more demanding of myself. I try to do whatever is best for them regardless of how much hard work it may be for me or what I may have to forego or give up.

I’m constantly planning and organising for the next hour, day, week, month, year etc and reviewing the days/weeks events in my head. What went well? What did the girls really enjoy? What can I do better? What do they need for x trip or event? It’s never ending.

But this weekend I’m putting my own needs to have fun and spend time with my husband and friends to the fore. I thought I was dealing with this very well until today. The nagging and I guess anxiety has gone through the roof. Mixed with guilt over leaving them and concern over wether or not I’ve organised everything for them I now feel slightly dizzy and physically sick!!

I’m not normally a worrier and I don’t often get stressed about things or at least I didn’t until parenthood came along. What I’m wondering is does this ever end? Surely it gets better but will there be a day in the future where my first, last and multiple other thoughts aren’t about what my children are doing and are they ok? Maybe I’ll just get better at dealing with the nagging…

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